Monday, May 14, 2007

Happy Birthday Bethany!!!

Three years ago today was one of the saddest and happiest days of my life. The day started at 4:00 in the morning. When your phone rings at that time of the night, you know it's not good. It was my brother-in-law. My husband's father had just died. My husband's family lives about 13 hours (by car) away from us. How were we going to be able to go to be with the family when I was ready to pop??? I was scheduled to be induced 4 days later. There was no way I could travel. My husband said that he was not going to leave me here alone. He would not be going to his father's funeral. He decided that since it was still the middle of the night, he was going back to bed to try to get some rest. I couldn't sleep...I finally got up around 5:30 and called the hospital I was to deliver at and asked their advice. They called my doctor and she called me right back. She said that she considered this a family emergency and that she would induce me as soon as I could get to the hospital so that my husband could still travel to be with his family. We called my parents (they live about 4 hours away) and my mom packed and was probably on her way to me before we were even out the door. Some wonderful friends came and got our two older children so that we could go have #3.

The doctor came in and broke my water, and nothing. She started pitocin...LOTS of contractions, but the baby's heart rate kept dropping, so they would have to stop the pit. What a day!!! I was so scared. One nurse kept talking about having a c-section. That was NOT going to happen!! Warren and I had studied the Bradley Method of child-birth and both of our previous births had been completely natural. The pitocin was started on and off throughout the day, but each time, baby's heart rate would drop, and they would stop it. About 6:00 in the evening, the doctor said that we were just going to do this. So, the pit was turned on again, and this time they didn't turn it off. I was put on oxygen to help the heart rate, and it always came back up after the contractions. At 7:00, my doc said that the baby would be here before 8:00. She was right! Bethany came at 7:56. What a miracle. I was so happy, thankful, and sad at the same time. Bethany would never get to meet her wonderful Papa. The nurse wanted to take her and clean her up, but I just couldn't let go.

Our friends arrived at the hospital about 30 minutes after Bethany was born...with big brother and sister! They had no idea when the baby would be coming, they just thought they would check on us and let the kids tell us good night! My mom took our kids home and put them to bed. Warren stayed with us in the hospital until about 11:00, then we said goodbye. He went home to sleep a bit and left early the next morning to go to his family. Finally, all was quiet, and at about midnight, the nurse finally got to wash Bethany! I just couldn't let he take her away. I felt like I had lost part of myself that day, he was only my father-in-law, but he was such a wonderful man. I went with her to the nursery to "help" with the bath and the newborn tests that had to be done. Then we went back to our room to sleep (as much as you can at the hospital!).

One of the nurses told me that she had never seen a woman deliver on Pitocin without pain control. She also said that it had been a very long time since she had seen a couple work together that well during labor and delivery.

The next morning, the doctor came in to check on us and said that we could go home....WHAT!!! I thought I had to stay in the hospital for 2-3 days like I had with my other two. But this doctor said that with all that was going on with my family, and the stress of being apart, we would recover and be better off at home! He said we had to stay until that afternoon, but could go home about 3:00! My mom brought my two other children and they all picked us up when Bethany was less than 20 hours old. If we had known that we were going to be released that day, Warren would have stayed home, and we all would have traveled together. It would have been so hard, but at least we would have been together. I felt so bad that he had to drive all that way by himself, to attend his father's funeral, without his wife or children.

That Sunday, my mom and the kids and I went to church (Bethany was not even a full 2 days old at this point). One of the elders read the sermon that Warren had written for that Sunday. And as it turned out, all the songs for that Sunday seemed to have a "funeral feel" to them. I sat in the back row with my newborn babe, crying my eyes out. I has having my own little personal private goodbye time.

So, forever, Bethany's birthday is a wonderful day, with a bitter remembrance as well. I can't forget that this is the day that my husband lost his father, my mother-in-law lost her husband, and my children lost their Papa.

This year, Bethany is turning THREE!!! What a BIG girl she has become! She is nearly toilet-trained, and she really has a mind of her own! She loves all thing princess, and baby. Whenever she sees a baby, she says "Awww, cute little baby baby." She pretends to feed and tickle her own babies (which she is collecting quite a few!). She received another Cabbage Patch baby this morning, that makes 4! One blond-haired, green eyed, Katie. One brown, curly-haired, brown eyed, Lucy. One little Asian baby, Jojo. And today's addition, blond-haired, hazel eyed, Zoey. I'm on the lookout to get her a little African-American baby for Christmas! Quite the multi-cultural little family she has! I tried to get her the African one for her birthday, but we live in a very rural part of the state, not a lot of diversity in our population, so Wal-Mart doesn't carry a lot of diversity in their dolls!


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