Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

These three words sum up my weekend. Well, mainly only one decision, but it was a big one.
I am going back to teaching. I have accepted the job offer from the preschool here in town. I am officially now their new director and a lead teacher. I will be teaching a three-year-old class MWF mornings and a 4-year-old class M-F afternoons. I am excited about teaching, this has always been a passion and a love of mine. To be honest, the director part is a bit concerning for me. Thankfully the now-retired director is staying on as a teacher and has told me she is more than willing to show me the ropes. My other concern about going back to teaching right now is that Bethany is not in full-time school. She will be at the preschool with me for the 4-yo program, but not in my class! But I will need to find child-care for her those three mornings.
I also was nervous about calling my child-care families and telling them the news. Being teachers themselves, they understand my love of teaching, but they were hoping that I would turn the job down. They both said that they were happy for me, they think the job is a great one for me, but they are sad for themselves because good child care in this town is hard to come by (oh great, now I'm looking for childcare, too!) I will be able to finish off this school year with them, so that is a relief. They both told me that they didn't want me to take the job, but thought I should anyway...so they are supportive (THANKS LADIES!)
So...this is what my mind has been full of this weekend. It is good to have a decision made. Warren and I both feel pretty good about it, so that is also a blessing. Thank you all for your love , support, and prayers...please don't stop now!

I got THE call...

Well, the head of the board at the preschool called and offered me the position as director and teacher. We went over some of the specifics, but I did not accept or turn down the job. I told her that I would like the weekend to think and pray about it. Warren and I have already discussed it many times, and just want to rehash everything one more time. So...I'll let you know when we decide! :o)

The future...an update, sort of.

Well, I have officially turned in my application to be a preschool director and teacher next school year. I have asked questions, voiced concernes, and asked people's opinions. I have prayed nonstop. I still don't feel like I have a complete 100% answer, but I am moving forward. I will keep moving in this direction until I feel that God is closing the door...if He choses.
The preschool board is running an ad in our paper to see if anyone else is qualified and interested in the position, so they have not offered me anything as of yet. I will know something in the next two weeks. If someone else is more qualified, and will fill the position better, then by all means...hire them! That will be my answer.
Continued prayers are, of course, always appreciated!!! :-)

The future....

Do you ever wish you had a crystal ball? Do you ever wish God would whisper the secrets of tomorrow in your ear? Oh come on...I KNOW you do! Everyone does. What does the future hold? How will this situation turn out? I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying about the future this week. I mentioned the desire to go back to teaching a few weeks ago in a post. Well...I might have that opportunity.
The local preschool has contacted me. Their director has decided that she would rather follow her heart and limit herself to teaching and not directing the preschool. The school would like to grow, and with the current director's qualifications, they aren't allowed to do this (state regulations, etc). The current director is a wonderful Christian lady, and awesome teacher! She knows that the program cannot grow with her in the lead, so she is stepping down and going to her first love, the children. The day that she announced to the board her decision, I received 2 phone calls from the board, and one from the current director. They wanted to know my background, education, experience, etc. The director and I have become friends over the two years my children have been in her class, and she wanted me to know she was recommending me to the board as her replacement.
Well...I have a meeting with the board tomorrow afternoon. They have not offered me a job, nor have I accepted. I have too many questions, but my mind is just swirling...even after knowing this information for 6 days.
Here are some of the things swirling in my brain...

1. I don't want to put Bethany in child care. My dad says it's no big deal...but this is one hurdle I keep coming back to. She will be in the 4 yo program, which will be 4 or 5 afternoons a week, so she would only need care in the morning. According to our state regulations, the director must be there all hours of operation...so I would have to be there mornings and afternoons (if they want me as director...maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here???) Is it fair to her to have her in child care when her brother and sister never had to do that?
   
2. Would I even get to teach? Would my time be filled with "director" duties? By the way, what are the director duties? Would I even have time to be able to teach one of the age groups??? Am I organized enough to keep everything strait that I would need?
   
3. The preschool is run by a church, a Christian church, but it is not our church. I am a certified Lutheran school teacher. That means that I took courses in college to certify me with our church body, I have a certain status with our church body. Since I have been a SAHM for the past (almost) 8 years, my status has been moved from active to inactive, but I am still on the roster. Would I have to give up my roster? If so, what would I need to do to get it back in the event we move somewhere with Lutheran schools? Would I be able to teach "Jesus time" to children in this preschool? I know you don't go deep into theology with 3 & 4 yo, but there is always a hint of theology no matter what Bible story you teach. Would I be allowed to teach what I believe?
   
4. Abbigail and Andrew are mainly concerned with who would take them and pick them up from school. I don't think this would be an issue (one of the current teachers has a daughter in elementary school, and I see her at drop off/pick up all the time).
5. There are the obvious questions about salary/benefits, but honestly they aren't very high on my list of concerns.

What a joy it would be to be back in the classroom again. I think if they were offering me just a teaching position that would simply be while Bethany was in another class...I would jump at it. Right now I cannot honestly say which way I will go if they offer me the directorship. I know my own fears and self-doubt are playing a large part in my hesitation.

I pray God gives me discernment to decide what is best for my family, the preschool, and me. I pray He calms my fears and gives me confidence. I pray He makes it clear which path I should take. I also pray that He will help to quiet my mind so I can get a decent night's rest...which I haven't been doing lately. I know it's already 12:35, and I'm still not in bed, so the good night's rest is already out of the question, but a decent one would be nice! ;o)

Well...I'm heading to bed for that rest now...I'll write another post tomorrow after the meeting, if I can form coherent sentences (I know, my sentences are rarely coherent, but I do my best!!! :o))

To teach or not to teach....

I am a child of God, first. A wife second. A mother third. I am a teacher...at least I was. Some days when I take my kids to school I want to stay so badly that it hurts. I am so thankful that have had the opportunity and privilege to be a stay at home mom for the past (almost) 8 years. Our preschool here in town contacted me during the summer and asked if I would be interested in teaching their 3 year old program. It was only 2 mornings of the week. I was SOOO tempted. I turned it down for a few reasons:

1. Bethany would be in the 3-yo program, although not the same class.


2. Teaching only two mornings during the week would not have offset the loss of income from giving up my childcare families.


3. I had already committed to my childcare families for the school year.

One of the preschool council members just called. The preschool council met last night to come up with plans/strategies for next year. Our town is experiencing a boom in the preschool age groups. Our town just went to a full day kindergarten. The school wants to expand to fill the need (currently they have waiting lists for almost every class) and make their 4 yo program last longer and go more days a week so that it is not such a shock for the kids to start the kindergarten program. She called to see where I was with my childcare, to see if being a part of their preschool would be something that would interest me. She wanted to know where I am with my teaching certificate (no current certificate unfortunately, that's a casualty of moving from state to state while being a SAHM, although she said that I don't need a teaching certificate, that my background was enough and I would be taking some in-service training as part of their position). Mainly she just wanted me to start thinking about next year and let me know that it is a possibility that they will offer me a job.

Here are some things that are running through my head right now:

1. Bethany is only going to be home from full-time school for one more year. Do I want to miss out on that? Do I want to have to put her into childcare, Abbie & Andrew never went to childcare. Will it even be an issue...I might teach the same hours she's in school.


2. Will it be financially equal to what I'm making here at home with my childcare? Would we be ok if it wasn't?


3. What will the families I care for now do without me...ok, I know I can be replaced, but let me bask in my being needed for a moment! :o)


4. It would be SO wonderful to get back into the teaching routine, to use my brain again. So many days I feel like I do the same things over and over, and it doesn't matter. I know that it does, but who will remember in 10 years (or next week) all that I do every day. I get frustrated with the children I provide care for (I know I will have these days in preschool, too). I feel badly because even though I'm a SAHM, my schedule is not my own. I cannot to to parties at school or help out in their classrooms without messing up my childcare families' schedules. If I teach 1/2 days, would it be better?? Is that even a possibility?


5. Preschool is such a special time with children, watching their love for learning unfold like a flower. Having fun reading books and doing art projects. Helping children learn how to share. Teaching them about the love of Jesus (this is a Christian preschool!). Teaching about forgiveness and getting along. Doing the messy things that moms (even me) don't like to do at home! Oh how I miss teaching.

Ok, just some rambling from a spinning head...I hope you held on when you started reading! :o) I'll keep you informed on what transpires. If you would like to pray that God will show me His will in all of this, that would be very appreciated. If you have any other considerations that you think I should think about, please leave me a comment. Thanks!

(This picture isn't of me, just a PS picture I found online...but it sure looks like fun!)